I heard about a new study the other day that said water bottles can be bad for you. According to this report, if you put boiling hot liquids in regular plastic bottles, it can release chemicals from the plastic that might be bad for your health.

Now some people might worry about this. They might say, “Oh no! Another health hazard to worry about!” But not me. I already have plenty to worry about, thank you, and I do not choose to worry about this for several reasons. 

First of all, who puts boiling hot liquids in their water bottles? Water bottles are for thirsty people and thirsty people don’t drink boiling liquids. I believe the only people who would put boiling water in a water bottle are researchers who are trying to scare people. 

Secondly, I fully expect another study in about a year that says that putting boiling liquids in a water bottle is extremely good for you. That’s just how it works with these studies. Remember the big study several years ago that said eggs were bad for you? A little later another one came out and told us that eggs are actually very good for you, which is something everyone knew all along. 

The same thing happened with apples and pasta. Actually, I don’t know the latest thing about pasta, because the studies about it have changed so many times nobody knows if it’s supposed to be good for you or bad. I tend to think it’s good, though, because I like pasta.

When you get right down to it, all you have to do is look at the Chinese and the Italians. Pasta was invented in China, and the Italians took it to an art form. Both of these countries are still alive and well, so apparently pasta hasn’t been a big problem through the ages. In fact, I’ll bet if someone did a study about the mental effects of lasagna and ravioli, they would find that they are great mood boosters. If you don’t believe me just watch a large, jolly Italian family eat dinner together. Dinner is a grand event and everybody feels good because they eat lots of great pasta. What other evidence do you need? 

Of course, there are a few studies that have been done that I like. The one that says chocolate is good for you is one of my favorites, although it’s no surprise. Women have known that chocolate is good for your mental health ever since chocolate was invented. But it’s nice to know it’s official now, since someone did a study.

I also like the one that says plenty of sleep is essential to good health, although there’s no surprise there, either. Everyone knows that when a person is tired, that person is grouchy, and grouchiness is bad for the grouch as well as anyone around him. Sleep, on the other hand, banishes the grouch, which is better for everyone all around.

I’d just like to know who gets to do all these amazing studies all the time. Is it someone serious, like a third-grade class with a science project? Or is it just somebody goofing off? I suspect there is money involved in doing studies, or there wouldn’t be so many of them. 

The nice thing about studies is that we live in America where it’s still legal to ignore the ones you don’t like. And don’t worry that ignoring all these studies will make you ignorant. You’re not ignorant, you’re probably way ahead of them anyway!