Backroad ramblings

Stupid criminals

This is a tough time of year, probably the dreariest time of all. Sometimes, when you feel like the weather stinks, everybody’s sick, everybody’s broke, and there’s nothing to look forward to, all you need to do is to look around and find somebody that’s worse off. So, in an effort to uplift and entertain, here’s a few escapades from stupid criminals. These people will make you feel better for one reason…YOU ARE NOT THEM.

No. 1: After getting in a dispute with his neighbor, a guy from Florida tossed a Molotov Cocktail at his neighbor’s trailer house. Right then the wind shifted and sent embers onto the guy’s own trailer. Lucky for him, he was arrested and taken to jail, because his trailer burned down.

No. 2: Three guys, also from Florida, thought it was their lucky day when they broke into a house and found three jars of cocaine. They took it home and snorted it, but it didn’t do much. Then they learned that the jars were actually urns, and they had snorted the cremated remains of the victim’s husband and two dogs.

No. 3: A woman in Texas saw a Facebook story about meth that was tainted with Ebola, and it worried her. She was so scared that her meth might be dangerous that she contacted the police. The cops asked her to bring in a sample for testing and…big surprise…it WAS dangerous. 

 No. 4: A genius in Chicago decided to rob a muffler shop. But when he demanded money, the employees told him that it was all in the safe and only the manager could get in. The manager was not there at the time, so the guy left his phone number and told them to call when the manager got back. They called the police first, and then the guy. He came back and was arrested.

No. 5: Some people come up with the most amazing disguises in order to break the law. And some people don’t. A guy in England glued tissue paper to his face and then stuffed his mouth with more tissue paper to disguise his voice. Then he robbed a bookie that he had gone to for years. Believe it or not, the bookie wasn’t fooled by all the tissue paper! It is not known if the guy was arrested or introduced to the bookie’s own security team.

So, you see? Even when things are depressing and dreary and you think winter will last forever, you can still take heart if you are not a stupid criminal. And if you are…well…maybe it’s warm in prison…