• As soon as you load your horse in the trailer he will take a dump.
• Any 4th of July rodeo will get rained out.
• The more a new pair of boots cost, the quicker you will scuff a big chunk off the toe.
• The further you get from home in your straw hat, the harder the wind will blow.
• No matter who you vote for, you finally have to admit it didn’t make any difference.
• Any law passed by congress will either increase your taxes or decrease your freedom.

• Anyone the press calls an environmentalist does not make a living producing anything you can use.
• If you go to a psychiatrist long enough they will eventually find something wrong with you.
• The further you get from the shop, the more you will need the tool you forgot.
• If you go out to rebuild fence you will find you are two posts and 20 feet of wire short to finish the job.
• If you dig a trench you will hit a forgotten water line.
• If you hit a horse on the highway it will be the most expensive horse the guy owns.
• If you don’t get your grain bought at harvest, the price will eventually go up.
• If you get all your grain bought at harvest, the price will eventually go down.
• If after 10 years of selective breeding you have finally achieved the tallest yearling bulls in the show ring, this will be the year the trend starts the other way.
• If you sort the heavy end of the calvy heifers into a pen under the lights, there will be six left in the other bunch that calve first.
• March will never be as bad as November, because in November you always have March to look forward to.