All right everybody, it’s May, and you know what that means…Mother’s Day is right around the corner!
Now it’s tough to write a column about mothers without getting sentimental. After all, moms are probably God’s greatest invention…after all, he even gave one to his own son!
But I don’t want to get too sentimental because it’s been a rough couple of months and people, including me, don’t want to get weepy and emotional. So instead of talking about how wonderful moms are, here is a list of things that make them great:
• They will give up sleep and food to take care of a sick kid…even if later, sleep deprivation makes them hug the dog and feed the kid cat food.
• They go for years without shutting the door to the bathroom. Why bother when a kid will be pounding on it before they sit down?
• They go for years without a hot meal and they think teething biscuits are a nice snack.
• They know that washing a kid’s favorite blanket or toy is like doing an international spy mission. They sneak the toy out while they’re sleeping, wash it, dry it and have it back before they wake up. They know this because the time they failed to complete the mission, the world came to an end.
• They know how to eat a Hershey bar in complete silence…while hiding in the pantry.
• They can skip pages of a bedtime story just to get to bed earlier, but will never go to sleep until everyone is home.
• They believe that a grubby handful of dandelions are the most beautiful flowers in the world.
• When ideological young women tell them high-minded ideas for child rearing, they nod and smile politely. Then they get their friends on the phone and laugh themselves silly.
• When ideological young women tell them high minded ideas for child rearing, they forget about being polite and laugh in their faces.
• They know that no matter how much they hate it, bribery works.
• They can throw together a science project in a couple of hours but don’t know why the kid’s loudest toy won’t work anymore.
In short, moms are what make the world go round. So Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms everywhere. And to my mom, you’re the best blessing ever, ever, ever. So don’t ever forget it!