The perfect gift for babies

I was invited to a baby shower recently, and I’m excited because this time I know exactly what I’m going to get the new little bundle of joy!

Usually, this takes some time, some shopping and a few decisions. Do you go with diapers? Onesies? Those adorable tiny booties? Or maybe bigger things like car seats or strollers? And when you go to the baby aisle at the store, your eyes sort of glaze over because there are so many cool things for babies nowadays.

But those days of indecision are over! This time I’m getting that kid something that everyone will enjoy! Beef!

I just read an article that says giving babies beef is one of the best things you can do for them! New federal guidelines now recognize the benefits of beef in a healthy diet, and they advise introducing beef into the diets of kids as young as 6 months old! 

That’s because beef is rich in iron and zinc, as well as lots of other good stuff. This is important to everyone, but especially children. Kids who don’t get enough iron and zinc can have lasting problems such as learning issues and growth. This may explain why so many people think that plant-based “chemical meat” is a good thing. They didn’t get enough beef in their diets, so they have learning issues!

Of course, you can’t just throw a slab of steak on your baby’s highchair tray, they don’t have their “chompers” yet. You have to puree it or chop it very fine, which sounds like a terrible way to treat a piece of steak, but remember you are giving them good nutrition now. The taste for a fine rib-eye will come later.

Savvy parents recommend that you start with pureed beef, but as soon as they get teeth, you can give kids hamburger and keep the rib-eyes for yourself. As they grow, you can graduate them up to round steak, then sirloin and then the good cuts. When they’re young they don’t know the difference, so why waste a good T-bone on kids who would just as soon eat hamburger? You have to think these things through.

The important thing is, they’re eating beef so they’re getting good nutrition, and they’re developing a taste for it, so they aren’t led astray later in life by idiots who tell them that plant-based chemical meat is better.

So, next time you go to a baby shower, take a cooler of beef! The mother will thank you, since beef is also highly recommended for pregnant women. The baby will thank you, eventually. And the father will think you are the smartest person he ever met!