Plant Meat

Backroad Ramblings

I have a question for you. What is plant meat?

No, this is not a typo and I didn’t mean ‘what is a meat plant.’ I want to know what plant meat is. 

I just saw an ad on the internet that was hawking hamburgers made of “plant meat.” They called it the “Impossible Burger” It’s marketed as a “delicious, nutritious alternative to meat. It’s made entirely out of “plant-based meat.” But what is plant-based meat? Well, I’ll tell you. Plant meat is a substance made from heavily processed wheat and soy proteins, added to genetically modified yeast. 

What? I thought anything “genetically modified” was evil. 

They don’t like us growing genetically modified corn or soybeans or anything else, but it’s okay for them to use genetically modified yeast to make this conglomeration of chemicals and call it meat? Something stinks here.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who thinks so. A Nebraska legislator named Carol Blood (yes, that’s her real name) has introduced a bill which bans foods from being represented as meat if they’re not meat…you know, real honest-to-goodness, meat-from-animals meat. 

Ms. Blood doesn’t care what you eat, she herself is a vegetarian. But she thinks, rightly, that anything that is not true meat shouldn’t be able to call itself meat. Especially in Nebraska.

After all, we’re the state of “more cattle than people”. We’re the state of two-inch-thick rib-eyes. We’re from the part of the nation that was not won by eating salad. And, we’re a state that is up to our eyeballs in animal agriculture. 

The “Impossible Burger” website claims that animal agriculture is destroying the planet, and they have found a way to eat meat without using animals. I say they’re full of beans. 

I say if their stuff is so good, why doesn’t it have its own flavor instead of copying the taste of meat? We meat eaters would never try to figure out how to make a steak taste like a carrot.

God gave us plants and He gave us animals, and He made it so they don’t taste alike. When you’re messing around making plants taste like meat, you’re messing with God! 

So anyway, if you were wondering what plant meat was – and even if you weren’t – now you know. It’s nothing good. 

Oh, and just in case you were wondering what a meat plant was, it’s a place to get a good rib-eye – and it’s not going to taste
like a plant.


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