I just read about an astonishing new invention. Like all great inventions it’s simple, it’s cheap, and I can’t believe nobody has thought of it before. What is it? A sandwich baggie that is printed to look like it has mold on it, so when you put your sandwich in it, it looks so gross that nobody would think of stealing it. Is that not genius? Grade school kids or adults who work with mooches should jump for joy over this thing.
So naturally, after reading about one amazing invention, you want to find more, so I started reading, and you just can’t believe what’s out there nowadays.
Did you know you can buy bedroom slippers with little headlights on them? No more stubbing your toe in the dark, no more hunting for a flashlight, just slip on your slippers and wham, you can see.
They also have a pie-shaped spatula that has scissors attached. It is for cutting into pizza, while scooping up the slice. Because the old way, after you cut your pizza into slices, then you have to find another utensil to pick them up. This is tiresome and uses lots of energy. So a spatula with scissors on the side is actually energy efficient.
There is also a toaster with a built-in t.v. No longer does anyone have to stand by the toaster for 3 whole long minutes and just wait. Instead, they can watch their favorite shows until they are late for work.
But my favorite invention is one that would be so handy this time of year. It’s a harness that you put on your back and fill with lovely, luscious, home-grown tomatoes. Then, as you walk around, it feeds you tomatoes. Is that not the most amazing thing ever invented? The only thing that would surpass it is one that feeds you sweet corn! I think life would truly be complete if a person could walk around being fed home-grown tomatoes and sweet corn without even lifting a finger.
Of course the tomato-feeder thing may have a few bugs to work out. What if you stop to talk to a friend? Does it offer the friend a tomato, or does it just doggedly keep shoving tomatoes in your mouth? Or what if you accidentally get a rotten tomato? Do you have the right to spit it out, or does it make you eat all of it? Or what if you get a tomato that’s too big for your mouth, and before you have managed to eat the big one, it gives you another one, and pretty soon you’re in a tomato nightmare?
Maybe some technology isn’t so great. After all, it’s a wonderful thing just to bite in to a home-grown tomato or an ear of sweet corn, using no more technology than your hands and teeth. I guess the old ways of some things are still the best.