I just read an article about Vegans. At first it made me mad, but the more I read, the more I felt sorry for these people. Not only do they have very hard lives (can you imagine not eating or drinking anything that has to do with animals?) but also, they probably don’t feel very good.
The article was looking for some great vegan slogans, so it listed a bunch of them. My favorites were:
Go vegan – the only ethical choice
Vegans Save Lives
Planet Earth is for All of us
You wouldn’t eat a cat, why eat a cow?
So, I decided to take a look at these supremely ignorant and arrogant slogans.
No. 1 says being vegan is the only “ethical” choice. But who gets to say what’s ethical? They think it’s not ethical to eat meat. I think it is. I say everybody should choose for themselves what they want to eat. They say they get to tell everybody else what to do. I say if somebody gets to tell everybody else what to do, we should make all vegans eat a rib-eye.
No. 2 Vegans save lives. They think that not eating animals saves the animals lives. They don’t think about the millions of people who would die without the nutrition provided by meat and dairy. Or, for that matter the millions of animals that would wreak havoc if we suddenly set them all free.
No. 3 Planet Earth is for All of us. Yes. All of us. Even meat eaters.
No. 4 You wouldn’t eat a cat, why eat a cow? Are you kidding? Can you imagine the size of a rib-eye off a cat? Boy are these people dumb.
At any rate, after you finish being mad about vegans and their ways, you can feel sorry for them. After all, their diets have shriveled their brains. But be careful, because shriveled-brain people can be very dangerous.